Timing is Everything

I often say, “I can’t wait to have children and be wrong about everything!”. Being wrong about when I should have children, how I should raise them, or how many I should plan for- or not plan at all and let it happen in its own time. I don’t know if I will follow the “suggestions” I am given, considering I don’t even know if I can be biological children. I do however know that it’s nobody’s business. Fertility is a conversation between my husband and of course our creator.

Considering I’m not married and don’t have children, I seem to have a strong opinion about outsider’s comments to what happens in the home. Well during my Family Relations class lots of people had opinions as to how many children each person should have… Now going to a religious based school, you can expect to have tons of opinions on how to raise a family.

I was pleasantly surprised to hear the responses of my classmates.

A few were adamant that it should be left to God, and they (as in the parents to be) shouldn’t try to plan their children around their lives. I also heard some say they wanted to use contraceptives until they felt it was the right time to stop and try having children. Of course, if this works for them then wonderful, continue your path and wave when you reach the top.

But…what about the people who wait too long?

I once heard a story of a women who worked very hard to have the perfect career, with the perfect life. She then realized she wanted something more, something that could not be replaced by material things. She wanted a family. Her own husband and children. So, she looked for the perfect guy. Somehow, she found him (crazy right), they quickly got married and tried to have children as soon as possible. Well they had trouble, lots of trouble. She was not accustomed to not getting what she wanted. She worked hard but you can’t really work hard to have a baby. After lots of interventions the doctors informed her she was infertile. She thought she had more time. She was trying to have a baby at the age or thirty-five and somehow never knew that after the age of twenty-five her chances would decrease every year. She was devastated. In the end they adopted, but it was so difficult for her to move on. *This is completely true by the way*

We see now that socially it can feel impossible to have all you have ever wanted. I am all for working women, but working women also includes the job of a home maker. In the family a proclamation to the world (The Family a Proclamation to the World, The First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints 1995) it says:

Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.

Divine design. Primarily responsible. Equal partners.

It is possible we are afraid if we stay home somehow it will turn back time?

Nope. It won’t turn back time. Women will still be brilliant if they raise children. We should prioritize our accomplishments. Sure, start with a base but realize your potential before it’s too late.

Happy Mothers Day!

https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2014-00-1440-it-was-mom-a-mothers-day-tribute-to-moms?lang=eng